Portfolio


COVER LETTER:

Dear Class Mates,
           For the essay revision I am revising my literary analysis, which I wrote on “The Sniper”.  I focused on the writing elements, characterization and plot. When writing my first final draft I used these two elements and contrasted how they related to each other in the story. My thesis (In “The Sniper” the author uses the contrast between how the sniper’s feels about the ultimate goal and how he feels after the actual events that follow to illustrate the dramatic impact civil war can have on a person, family, and community.) portrayed how each element affected the other.
           My Writing remix is going to consist of the blog I wrote about my cousin’s accident, called My Cousin’s Accident. I am going to write an article on it because I think it fits the type of story. I have a lot to say about my cousin’s accident, more than I wrote about in my blog. My feelings are strong about what happened and it makes me sad. The article is a good project for this certain blog because when you think about it when you open up the news paper it wouldn’t be weird to see an article about a car accident.
            It was hard to find two hits and misses I had in blog post’ this year, but I think I found the right ones as of now. One of my misses I felt was the blog post I wrote about our past paper, the research paper. It was easy to convey my feelings when writing this paper, but I could have spent more time writing about what I actually did on the paper. Although I liked writing the research paper I never blogged about the actual research or time that went into the paper. The blog was titled, Research Paper R17eflection (I don’t know why there is a random 17 in the title) and when writing it, I reminded myself on what I tend to do when a paper is assigned. I usually procrastinate and over estimate the workload, actually writing down that I did these things helped me to remember not to do it on this writing project.
           A hit writing piece I had was a blog I wrote called the Laughing Disease. It was a poem about my brother and I laughing at the dinner table. I loved writing this blog because as I was writing the topic made me giggle and it wasn’t a hard assignment to do. Also the feelings I have when experiencing the “laughing disease”, you can feel when reading it. This blog/ poem puts a distinct picture of what the “laughing disease” looks like in action.
          A blog from early January I wrote about babysitting. I have to admit when I wrote this blog I was in some sort of rage. The blog was called babysitting (I know your thinking- wow she has original titles), It was all about the differences of babysitting for your family and actually babysitting for kids you aren’t related to. I babysit a good bit and my parents never pay me and get mad at me. Well hello mom I’m not going to clean up if I don’t get something in return. I think I really “hit” this blog post.
Another one of my misses was the post, Jane Goodall Plagiarizing. I didn’t spend time when writing this. I have to admit I really didn’t give my full potential towards this post. I did read the article required in order to write the post, but when it came to actually writing tomorrow. 


ESSAY REVISION:


Tyler Hyde
Dr. deGravelles
Block 3
29 May, 2013
The Dramatic Impact of “The Sniper”

In “The Sniper”, the author uses the contrast between how the sniper feels about the ultimate goal and how he feels after the actual events that follow to illustrate the dramatic impact civil war can have on a person, family, and community. The Sniper is arrogant, precise, and deadly. He takes pride in his work and he is trained to do it on instinct;  however, he finds that there is much less satisfaction in a job well done than he first imagines at the onset of this short story.  The Sniper literally comes face to face with the consequences of his trade.
           The reader gets an idea about his arrogance early in the story when he becomes careless with his sandwich. It is not that the sniper does not care; he just does not think it maters. O’Flaherty talks about the sniper’s careless eating, “He was eating a sandwich hungrily… he had been too excited to eat” (145). He had obviously not eaten in a while so I inferred that he had been too busy doing something else. The author gives the audience many hints like this throughout the story to give them ideas about the climax. The sniper also inhales his cigarette hurriedly like he needed to be somewhere, get something done, or meet someone important.
           Along with his carelessness, the sniper is in the world to do his job and he is going to get it done. Almost immediately after eating his sandwich he kills two people. The sniper’s job is to kill; it is a civil war he is dealing with. One of these people was an old lady which tells us as the audience that the sniper does not feel sympathy and he is just going to kill her even if she is involved with who he is out to kill. He kills the lady because supposedly she is an informant, but I still do not see how she could be a bad enough person to kill. The old woman represents something old, fragile, and harmless. The sniper represents ruthlessness, cruelty, and death. You can see that the O’Flaherty does not make this death of the old women a big deal in the story, “The sniper: fired again. The women whirled round and fell into the gutter” (146). O’ Flaherty put it quick short and strait to the point.
           The sniper is committed to his task because he has a well thought out plan that he is willing to get accomplished. O’Flaherty said, “He must kill that enemy and he could not use his riffle. He had only a revolver to do it. Then he thought of a plan” (145). This quote tells us that the sniper is not as careless as we thought he was. It shows us that he cares about his mission and achieving his ultimate goal, whatever casualties occur at his hands is simply unavoidable in his mind. He doesn’t doubt himself and he is confident in what he is assigned to do. The way the sniper feels about what he is doing tell us that he having an impact on not only the people he is killing, but on the people in his community.
           With the victory of the sniper’s task he seemed to get nervous. It was weird, he seemed to feel possibly some empathy. You would think nearing this accomplishment he would do it quick, but it took him a minute to pull the trigger even though we know he wanted to kill him. On page one forty six the narrator expresses this when saying, “His hand trembling with eagerness. Pressing his lips together, he took a deep breath through his nostrils and fired. I would say that line defined the climax of the story
When the sniper accomplished his task he felt joy. As you could imagine the situation, killing someone as your job. I would say this was a big moment for the Sniper. O’Flaherty expresses it as joyful: “Then when the smoke was cleared, he peered across and uttered a cry of joy. His enemy had been hit” (147). He was proud of his bitter accomplishment of death.  He most likely also felt a deep sense of relief at a job well done.  Whether joy or relief or a combination of the two we find out quickly that these “happy” feelings are fleeting, and the sniper feels this too.
           After his cry of joy and relief he has a cry of sorrow. The sniper feels a sudden sense of remorse and empathy for this other man he has just killed.  Perhaps he recognized even from that distance that this was a man not that different from himself. O’Flaherty discuses the impact this death has taken on the Sniper, “The sniper looked at his enemy falling and shuddered, the lust of battle died in him” (147). With this kill the sniper loses a sense of respect in his occupation and pride in his own abilities that was so obvious in the beginning. Early in the story he was hungry to kill, but at this point he becomes aware of a very ugly truth.  The truth that killing isn’t pretty, no matter how good a shot you are.
Towards the end of the story, O’Flaherty talks about the sniper when he realizes things he did not before. Also we look at how he found out about whom he actually killed, “The sniper darted across the street” (147). At first the sniper wanted to feel the joy and excitement of accomplishing the goal and he felt good. Then he felt empathy for the person he killed even thought it was his mission to kill him which changes the whole mood. Once the sniper killed his match men he ran across the street to see him. He was eager to look into his dying face, it gave him satisfaction. He loved the feeling of defeating someone he needed to. It gave him this feeling of pride and accomplishment.
            The sniper finds the man dying, but he finds an even bigger awareness in him. He seems to understand that his actions to kill the other man will have an impact on the community and the society at large. The moment he realized this, O’Flaherty’s words were “Then the sniper turned over the dead body and looked into his brother’s face” (147). After reading this, the reader is left wondering is this literally the sniper’s blood brother or is the author making the point that this is a civil war where men are killing men that live near one another? In other words, “brothers” or “neighbors” or “friends” are killing one another. Any war is certainly sad and devastating but there is something even more personal about a civil war. There is an impact that hits much closer to home and makes a long-lasting impression not just on individuals like the sniper but to entire communities and countries. 
Works Cited
O’Flaherty, Liam “The Sniper.” English 1. Edwards and deGravelles. San Diego, CA; University readers, 2012. 145-147.

HITS AND MISSES:

Hits
Laughing Disease
http://tyler2016.blogspot.com/2013/04/laughing-disease.html

Babysitting
http://tyler2016.blogspot.com/2012/11/babysitting.html

Misses
Jane Goodall's Plagiarizing

http://tyler2016.blogspot.com/2013/04/jane-goodall-plagerising.html

Research Paper R17eflection

http://tyler2016.blogspot.com/2013/02/research-paper-r17eflection.html

WRITING REMIX:


“When a Normal Night Shatters”

On Saturday December 5th, nineteen-year-old Emma Brabham got in a potentially fatal car accident. The accident occurred in Hammond, Louisiana when Emma and friend Christina were riding around listening to a song. The car pulled into the driveway of Christina’s house after partying all night at Christina’s birthday. The two friends, with Emma driving, pulled out to drive around while listening to one of there favorite songs.
The crash happened around 2 A.M. on Saturday. The car lost control after hitting a tree stump and then rolling into a ditch. The car was totaled. Emma was ejected from the sunroof and was found multiple feet away from the car. Christina was ejected from the passenger side window.
After the ambulance arrived, Emma was rushed to the hospital with major cuts on the right side of her face. The ambulance took both girls to the local hospital in Hammond. Christina was soon released with minor bruises on her legs and a possible concussion. She had a slight knee injury, which had her on crutches for a few weeks.
Now Emma’s injuries were a lot more severe. The nerves in her right eye and right side of the lip were damaged. Cheek and jawbones on the right side of her face were crushed. She had hurt ankles and knees as well.
Due to the severity or these injuries she was rushed to Our Lady of The Lake hospital in Baton Rouge where they could take better care for her. This was better news for her family because the surgeons were more qualified there.
After the severe morning of December 5th had passed Emma was now in life threatening surgery.
After the 8 hours of surgery Emma’s neurologist and surgeon said surgery went better than planned and they were able to reconstruct her face bones remarkably well. Her jaw was wired shut and was going to stay that way for a total of 6 weeks.
The next few days were hard for the family and Emma as everyone was trying to adjust to the situation. Some worries arose as complications started to occur. Emma was struggling to breath with her nose dried up and mouth wired shut. Also she leaked spinal fluid through her ears. These struggles didn’t stay for long, as the wonderful doctors were able to take care of them.
People poured in from Emma’s hometown of Amite, Family and Friends were even coming form places in Mississippi. These people really gave Emma hope including her sorority sisters from the South Eastern University Sorority of AOP.
After spending a few days in the ICU, Emma was moved to a more private, and larger room. Soon She was even omitted from the Hospital to go home. It was news that brought tears of joy to everyone’s eyes.
After leaving the hospital there was one thing that seemed to slip everyone’s minds, the divorce of Emma’s parents. Now this was an ongoing issue at the time or the accident because her mom was living at her parent’s house at the time. With the conditions Emma was still in, Emma’s mom moved into there house they had always lived in.
Emma is now living a normal life, with occasional visits to the doctor’s. She live’s in her and her sister’s apartment. The parents of Emma are still growing through a divorce, but this brought the family closer than the ever have been.

2 comments:

  1. Tye, I revised the same thing as you, I felt like it was good but something that wasn't horrible to revise and work on. I really like your remix, it was really sad but it sounded good!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Since I couldn't figure out how to comment on some people's portfolios, I have to comment here. Nice work that you put into the writing remix. It shows true emotion, and it seems that it bought the family together so they made a greater bond with each other. Also, in you literary analysis it seems that you convey the plot well and also the characterization so good job.

    ReplyDelete